A Woman’s Confidence is Most Important

So, I fell in love and got my heart broken over and over again…fell in love to the point I lost my identity and got my heart broken to the point of forgetting who I am in the first place. In a sense, I have no regrets, because at the very least I gave it my all, got broken, but survived in the end. And then, I realized, that’s just life. That’s just one of life’s basic lessons. Even though, he’s not the first man I love, he’s certainly the only one who managed to break my heart to this extent. To the extent that I lost all muse to write, despite that writing is supposed to be one of my eternal lovers.

Anyhow, asides from that, the main reason why I haven’t update is mainly due to bad internet signal in a very small town!!! ><” The good news is, I’m finally back home, in the place I grew up in; a place where I can feel no guiltiness with anonymity. I’m an introvert by nature, so anonymity without guilt feel just right at home.

So, what does this mean?  You’ll be expecting a lot of fangirling here again!! Along with other randomness. Honestly, I have to admit, this is kinda like my online diary,  but who cares?! You’re all just harmless stalkers anyways. And if you’re not harmless, there’s no doubt in my mind I’d be calling the police on you faster than the speed of light! ^^

So, here are some stuff I learned from the man that I love the most:

• Being your own self is important, because there’s a possibility that he would leave you. And if that’s the case, then (for example) you might ended up letting your hair grew long for him when you are more comfortable with short hair in the first place! Honestly babe, just get whatever hair style you want…make yourself happy first before anything.
• Exes are exes for a reason…some might be quick to say stuff like “accepting that your man still keep in touch with his ex and being best friend with his ex is totally okay! If you can’t accept it, then you are childish.” Uh….no. It really depends. But most importantly, a mature woman should consider and know how she feels and what she truly wants. If she’s not comfortable with her boyfriend constantly contacting his ex (especially if there’s no good reason!), that’s totally okay. She shouldn’t have to force herself be “mature” when she’s clearly hurt and crying inside.
• Go at your pace and grow at your pace…because that’s really what life is all about; discovering yourself and being comfortable with your own skin.

Next up is either fangirling, fanfics, or my own silly webtoon time (“Leo’s Debut” or “Nonesense”) gain! XD Thanks for reading all this time~! =D

Random Thoughts & Muses #002

Back again with another “online diary” post, full of things that I currently can’t find anyone to say it to without making it seem out of the blue (which, it is) except for the wall…and frankly, I don’t like the wall every much.  Is this what people call, “shower thoughts”, really?

Racism is, Unfortunately, Still a Very Real Thing in Canada

A rare and serious reflection here.  Topic might be sensitive for some readers, so readers’ discretion is advised.

I grew up as a city girl and while I have met some occasional jerks, I’ve never felt anyone was being racist towards me.  So, when I started attending university and taking up Asia-Canada courses at Simon Fraser University (that’s my extended Minor), I couldn’t really sympathized with some of my Asian-Canadian professors and lecturers who have grew up in the city or suburb during the 60s, 70s, 80s, and early 90s (some even earlier as they are 4th or 5th generation of Asian-Canadians) and experiencing racism and recalling painful memories.  I honestly, in the back of my mind, thought they were just exaggerating.

Random Analysis by a Robot – January 2017

*Originally just a random reflection on my Facebook as I test out the notes feature (haven’t used that in years!!).

“每個人都知道這是個可笑的世界。可是有誰能笑得出呢？” – 《老夫子》

(Trans:  “Everyone knows this is a ridiculous world, but who can really laugh about it?” – Old Master Q)

 

1) Since young, it seems the more I dislike something, the more it will show up to haunt me. Then, as I get older, I realize that’s just one of the ways the great universe uses to teach me love and compassion. I didn’t like this teaching method before, but now, I’m thankful for it because I don’t dislike or hate a lot in general. Well…there is something I don’t like at the moment, but it will eventually leave me alone and give peace back to my mind. ^^

 

2) Just a joke…

 

A: You jump.

B: I jump.

DAYS later…

 

B: Why didn’t you jump?

A: Never said I would.

A Wish that Cannot Come True Becomes a Regret

Once in a while, a lot come at us all at once that we would wish that we were born blind, born deaf, even born mute and ignorant so that we don’t see, don’t hear, don’t speak, and don’t understand the truth.

Even, when everything clearly right in front of us…saving what is already lost and most likely, cannot be saved.

To do the impossible, one has to be prepared to get burned, stabbed, and scarred.

Random Thoughts & Muses #001

Was debating rather I should do another throwback (& cringe-worthy) music post (mainly for a certain selection of friends….^^) or a random post….I decide on a random one because self-reflection is a healthy thing to do from time to time. ^^

Now, let the randomness roll~~~~~~~~~~~ =D

My Annoying List – Part I

A related post from the distant past, My Lovely List – Part I. ^^  Been meaning to do this for awhile along with other interesting/not-so-interesting posts.  Of course, my usual and most valid excuse is: too busy!!!  Alright, I’m also being easily distracted as usual. ^^”

A simple list of things, people, or occurrences that I find annoying (not in any particular order):

1) Zhang Wuji’s indecisiveness and wishy-washiness are very annoying.

2) Constant shaking of one’s leg while sitting down is particularly annoying to the point that I’d not hesitate to slap that person’s lap to make it stop.

3) The cawing of crows early in the morning is annoying.

4) Silence that should be replaced with words and vice-versa are annoying.

In a Minute

Just a short passage from one of my experimental fanfics, An Irreversible Trade-Off, that I’ve suddenly remembered and made me wonder just what the heck am I doing with all my minutes recently?  Anyways, here it is for you to ponder over your beautiful weekend:

What was a minute?

Numerically, it was simply sixty seconds.

Realistically, it was the amount of time a young man used to run down several blocks in order to avoid the wrath of his girlfriend for being late for their date again.  It was the amount of time a rebellious young lady used to search her house key that was misplaced in her handbag after a long night of drinking and wild partying.  It was the most significant minute in a high school student’s life as she took the courage to confess to her crush.  An intern with the worst luck to work overtime on a beautiful Saturday finally got his break to enjoy a soda pop over the, otherwise insignificant, one minute.  Every second in that minute became equally and lovingly precious when the son hugged his fragile mother for the first time again in ten years.

One minute – or sixty seconds – was a fleeting moment of possibilities.

Nostalgia

Remember this post in which I was trying to reconnect with That Kawaii Friend?  Well, I still haven’t completely reconnect with her yet, but I have finally met with Miss Professor (one of the many awesome friends that I’ve been trying to reconnect with) today.

As I was on my way to meet up with her, a lot of scenes from my carefree (but dirt-poor…haha, still dirt-poor) school days flashed through my mind.  A bitter-sweetness plucked my heart because everything just seemed so different after graduation.  Some people are overwhelmed with work, some are obsessed with the definition of a high life, some are busy chasing after their dreams, some are tied down by family, and some are still figuring out their direction in life.  With all these complicated situations going on, sometimes it can be difficult to not question the intention of the person who is initiating the reconnection as something less than pure rekindle of friendship.  Well, I supposed it didn’t help with the fact that I was a business major.

Love is…

Taking a breather from the LSAT prep and life’s mundane activities in general and picking up on where I have left off in my writing last time, I suddenly recalled my writer’s block with regards to the definition of “first love” (and I supposed “true love” too).  More specifically, I recalled a specific definition that I wished I could have flushed it away down the drain because it burned my eyes for an unnecessary long while.

Honestly, I did debate on whether I should revisit this topic because I might offend this gentleman who had kindly offered this “specific definition”…but then, I thought, “oh, what the heck.”  He’s probably far too busy to pay this blog a visit any time soon.  Yes, I know.  Extremely positive thinking for my own convenience.