Recently, I got obstructed with a frustrating writer’s block. It started with the detailing of a character sketch (let’s assume it’s Princess Mermaid) and…that was when I encountered a problem – just who was her first love? Well you see, Princess Mermaid had an unrequited love that had taken her almost a decade to forget before she eventually dated a false gentleman (of whom she had never truly loved) seriously for a brief while until he decided to cheat on her. Just who was her first love – the first guy she had a serious crush on or the first guy she ever dated? *Note: this is just a supporting character, and no, I’m not writing a straight-forward love story…never really my cup of tea anyways.*
Right off the bat, I assumed the former because she did love the guy, even though she could never be with him. However, cursed by my obsession to rationalize, to classify, to find the universal truth on almost any subjects that matter to me at the moment, I had to search up the internet for evidence to back up my claim even though this was not a research paper, but merely a story. Though, the journey to search for the truth does get one to become more tangled than the time when she knew nothing more than to depend solely on her intuition.
The results of my internet search is not as universal as I first assumed. Desperate for an answer that’s not solely based on chemistry science but based on somewhat of a “collective” experience, I have started bugging several individuals of whom I have deemed to be more sentimental than others with a terribly long text message that almost killed my fingers. I have essentially asked them what is their definition of “first love”? The result? One answer was obviously a troll answer — “a cotton candy kiss” (and when I asked for clarification, she only gave me a smiley face). I have thought better of this friend of mine. -___-” A couple of answers were surprisingly cheesy. And then there’s always an odd one that makes me think if this individual was already drunk in the middle of a beautiful afternoon. Anyways, just like the internet result, the answer to the classification of “first love” is not universal. Different people with different experiences would define certain terms differently.
I was back at square one with this particular writer’s block. Or perhaps, the answer is already right in front of me all this time and all I have to do is to trust my intuition and use my definition of “first love” with regards to this character sketch. After all, every character that I have written so far is a persona of myself, no matter how far-fetched the character might seem at first.